As the new year dawns, we begin to examine your life, our relationships and the things we did in 2013. You may bash yourself for doing that stupid thing you shouldn't have done or praise yourself for sticking to a certain goal and achieving it. Whatever it was, it happened in 2013, the past. Take the good and shed the bad although you may not be the man you wanted to be in 2013. With the new year approaching, here are 5 values that will transform you into the man you can be.
1. Purpose
We tend to ask ourselves, “What is our purpose?”. For centuries, human beings are biologically wired to seek success and greatness. This sense of self fulfillment enables us to look deeper into who we are and what have we become. You may have blossomed into a great man, or you are still just another creeper getting thrills from admiring pretty girls walking down the street (we are guilty).
Men today are influenced greatly by external factors such as our parents, friends, economy, religion and societal norms. In some ways, these social agents influence our thoughts and beliefs which deter us from what we really want.
You may have wanted to be a musician when you were younger but your parents told you that it is not realistic in the current society and the paycheck is trivial. Yes, this is what we are talking about! Developing a purpose in life is important as it serves as a guiding star for us. Our purpose allows us to develop our actions into passion, possibly providing services for the greater good of society, bringing the human race forward as a whole.
A Man with passion and purpose is often seen as dedicated and disciplined. You do not want to be the Man who lived till 82 years old, regretting on his death bed and thinking, I should have done this and that. However, this is not to be clearly mixed up with the phrase ‘YOLO (You Only Live Once)’.
Takeaway
"You can start by throwing yourself wholeheartedly into something you love to do. It could be gaming, sports, music, arts, writing a book or even starting a business.
Whatever it is, a Man must have purpose in their life. It serves as a guide in all principles of life."
2. Strong Willed
Take a few seconds now and think about events that happened to you last year.
What are your regrets from the year 2013?
- Failing a subject?
- Didn't stick to an exercise program?
- Failing to complete a new year’s resolution?
- Hurt someone dear to you because you lost your temper?
- Spend less money on things you don’t need?
- Waste less time surfing the internet aimlessly?
Ever wondered why did you regret something or how you completed a resolution? It is willpower, or the lack of it.
What is willpower? It is the ability to control one’s actions and emotion. Resisting the temptation to be a couch potato for the day and indulge in your fried potato friends because your goal is to lose weight. Not shouting back at your friend because he insulted your family jewels (show him who’s the man through your actions). Completing a difficult assignment ahead of the deadline. Being calm and rational when someone is angry at you. These actions take willpower. Of course, some things are out of your control like an accident or unfavorable conditions but a large majority of events are in your control. You can take control of it and that takes your willpower.
Takeaway
Willpower is actually a simple, yet very powerful tool. There are several studies on willpower and you probably heard about the marshmallow experiment. Four-year-old children were left alone in a room with a marshmallow in front of them. The children were told they could eat the marshmallow right away, or wait 15 minutes to receive an additional marshmallow.
The children with the highest self-control, those who were able to wait in order to double their white gelatinous booty—grew up to become fitter adults who got better test scores and grades and enjoyed healthier relationships.
Mahatma Gandhi once said,
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
3. Courage
With a laser like purpose and an iron will, you begin to make steps towards the man that you could be. You work hard, toiling away at your goal. It could be diligently gaining knowledge to get the dream job you long for or it could be clocking in painful hours in training sessions to become the best athlete around. Whatever it is, all the time and effort spend achieving your goal or purpose makes your life pretty much you, your goal and those dreaded obstacles.
The obstacle is anything that hinders your journey towards your goal in life. It could be an external or internal obstacle. Picture this, you are a varsity athlete, it’s competition season. Two months in, your stringent diet plans and devastating training sessions is proving to be highly effective. You begin to see improvements, thanking your strong will that got you this far. But temptations lurks in the corner, an obstacle in the form of scumbag friends turns up and chide you for being a party pooper when you try to head home early to prepare for practice tomorrow. They insult your family jewels once again, do you have the courage to stand up to them and not bother about their opinions?
There will be times where we are torn between difficult decisions, having the courage to do what is right or just is a crucial skill anyone should have. Another example of courage takes on a more heroic form of sort. You see someone having trouble fitting in, getting bullied by guys who look like their early childhood calcium source is packed with proteins, he definitely needs some help. Help that you can lend if you have the courage to stand up to these bigger guys.
Takeaway
On a larger scale, the late Nelson Mandela had the courage to fight against the unjust system of apartheid, he fought for equal rights for the blacks and the whites and peace in South Africa. Even though you may not be the most courageous individual, but little courageous acts can change your life and someone else’s.
4. Respect
So, after the Man in 2014 is armed with purpose, will, courage, what else is there for the Man? We think it is respect.
Before he respects anyone else, we should be able to respect ourselves. When self respect is attained, we will be aware of how we present ourselves towards others. A respectful man is a considerate man, this being said, it eliminates all sorts of prejudice that we might have if we are not respectful to a certain individual or object. Without any prejudice, our actions and reactions to others will be just.
On top of that, it is important for us to respecting each other places no matter who we are. As quoted by Albert Einstein, “He treats everyone the same way, despite their status in life.” Only then, we would be genuine in the relationships we foster in our lives.
Takeaway
So go on, be respectful, be genuine in fostering relationships. After all, respect is earned, not given. And when the next time comes where you demand respect, remember, you must first give it.
5. Humility
Humility in a man is defined as knowing his abilities for no lesser or greater than what they really are and accepting the fact that he does not know all the answers and is not afraid to change direction if he see things wrong. He has an absence of pride and does not feel the need to validate and compare his self worth based on others.
You may think that humility in a man signifies weakness, submissiveness and fear. If you think it's right to scold your “lower-ranked” colleagues who were right to correct you just to remind them who's the boss, you are wrong.
Ernest Hemingway once quoted that “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” He knew that true humility is a sign of strength, dignity and confidence and being humble embodied what being a man was.
Takeaway
When working in a team, a prideful man would take credit wholeheartedly during a successful project as it validates his self worth and this enables him to keep up the false masquerade of success as he climbs the corporate ladder. Be the man that is humble and share the praise & credit because deep down you know that the success would not be possible without the hardworking people who supported you.
2. Having a common touch
When you have attained the success you desire in life, remember that you were once struggling and hustling on the streets. A humble man would view himself no different or of higher esteem than the ordinary folk even though he might be worth a billion dollars. He doesn’t brag about the recent trip around europe on his private jet when a ordinary folk can only travel once a year on discounted fares. He understand that everyone’s experiences are equally important and interesting and that no man is of greater value than of another, for the value of a life is another.
3. Doing things while not expecting anything in return
Fulfil your duty in work,family,country while not expecting any returns or validation for your service. A humble man moves and navigates through life serving others at the same time making the world a better place for the future generations. This fulfil his purpose in life and brings him a step closer to deciphering out his version of the meaning of life.
The time for evaluation is over, do not bother about what you did as a man in 2013. As you look forward, take away the 5 values, let them be embodied by the Man you can be.
- Externus Nation
